Star Wars Movies Ranked

Everyone else has written their own variation of this list, so figured I'd give it a shot as well. I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather just ranking them and putting cursory reasons down why I have them sequenced by my own perceived quality. 

9) The Prequels - I'm going to lump these 3 films together, in the garbage. I know these films have their fans, but be honest. If the titles replaced 'Star Wars Episode __' with 'Space Adventure Chronicle ___' but was otherwise the same, would you have watched them more than once? The only way I'll watch these again is when the bottom right corner of the screen features the silhouettes of a man and his 2 robot friends. 

Good stuff:

Not much good stuff here, but at least we can send kudos to Lucas for trying to do something new. Visually, yes, these films are strikingly different from their predecessors. And, the saber duel in the first prequel is pretty cool. Lest we forget, the prequels did beget the well done Clone Wars animated show.

8) Rise of Skywalker  - Despite the fact that this movie defines the term 'cinematic junk food', I have to admit that I enjoyed watching it and that I enjoyed it more with each viewing. But what a hot mess of a film this is! Lots of reviewers have chimed in with insight into this one, so I won't repeat what's already been said by better writers than myself. Also, by putting this move next to the prequels, I don't mean to say that it's marginally better than those films. 'Rise' is 1000x better than any of the prequel films. 

The thing that bugs me the most about this film is that there's so little effort to make sense. Abrams has a tendency to put stuff in his movies that look cool, but are unattached from any logical connection to what's gone on before. Where did all those Star Destroyers come from? Where did they get the men to man them all? One of the beautiful things about the original trilogy was that they made sense. They had a feel of consistency and an internal logic. That went out the window with this movie. And we didn't even get one shot in the climax as cool as the capital ship battles in 'Return of the Jedi'. 

And what happened to the Emporer's personality? I wanted to see the smirking, sarcastic Big Bad we all loved from 'Return of the Jedi'.

Good stuff:

Threepio is my favorite character, so I absolutely loved that he got so much focus in this movie. Babu Frik, of course, was the crown jewel. The performances are excellent all around, especially the leads. The score is an awesome 'greatest hits' of the saga, and I also loved the interior shots of the ruined Death Star.

7) Solo - Now we're getting to the good stuff. It's a shame this film bombed, because it's solid if not spectacular. If Disney ever does more spin-off films, maybe they'll continue making them during the time of the original trilogy instead of the new one.  

And, if the execs at Disney had some sense, they'd immediately book Glover for a Lando sequel.

Good stuff:

Lando! and his droid!  I really enjoyed the multi-legged alien on the train heist. 

6) Return of the Jedi - By far the weakest member of the original trilogy, but it does have a few of the best scenes. The things that drag this movie down?  I would point to the draggy pace for the first 2/3 of the movie, they made Han Solo boring, and those freaking Ewoks. There's also just a palpable lack of dramatic stakes in this.

For example, wouldn't it have been better if, after returning to Dagobah, Luke finds that Yoda's hut is a caved-in ruin? Yoda has passed on months ago. Luke had his shot to train, but he blew it, and Kenobi shows up to tell him that. Instead we get dialog from Kenobi that largely repeats what Yoda just said. "Yep, Vader's your dad." 

Imagine what this film could have been. If it weren't for Gary Kurtz's fall-out with Lucas and Lucas' fall-out with the Guild over credits, this could have been the crown jewel of the trilogy. Instead, it's weak tea compared to its excellent predecessors. 

Good stuff:

The 2 guys crying for the poor monster Luke killed at Jabba's palace. And, one of the best shots in the entire series: Vader's unmasking by Luke, while we get a mournful 'Imperial March' in the background score. The space battle scenes are fantastic and I don't think they've ever been surpassed. Unfortunately, they're all too brief and then we're cut away back to those yipping Ewoks

5) Force Awakens - Yeah, this is a re-tread of 'Star Wars', and it's unfortunate that Abrams could only envisage repeating what had come before. Geeks like me hoping for something inspired by Timothy Zahn were wishing for way too much. 

The characters and their actors' performances save this movie. It's a pity that this film wasn't made 10 years prior, before the original actors had aged so much. As late as 2008, Carrie Fisher was still recognizable, but not so much by the time of this movie. 

And, I'm sorry, but Starkiller Base is stupid. So freaking stupid. It's also criminal we didn't get one scene reuniting the original cast. Just one. 

Overall, however, this is a good movie. It's full of excitement and does a good job capturing much of the magic of the original trilogy. At the same time, I can't help but wonder what the sequel trilogy would have been in other hands, like Brad Bird or Guillermo del Toro. Abrams is way too obvious of a choice. 

Good stuff:

The haunting last scene of Rey finding and handing the saber to Luke is masterfully done. Rey's look of dismay at her elderly co-workers while cleaning scavenged equipment, realizing she's going to share their fate. 

4) Rogue One - I loved this film. Absolutely loved it. I have to agree with Slate.com in their review, which said that this film enhances the original trilogy. Please Disney .. make more like this!

One nitpick  - Vader's encounter with Krennick. Vader's dialog struck me as much too wordy. 

Good stuff:

Pick a scene at random from this film. It's all good stuff. One of my many personal favorites is how they utilized previously unused footage from the first Star Wars in the big fleet battle. And, that fleet battle was AWESOME!

3) The Last Jedi - The Alexandrian has an excellent review of this movie. When it comes to explaining why something is good, I'll leave it to experts better equipped than myself. What struck me immediately upon viewing this was how often I was being shocked and surprised by the turns of the plot.

Luke tossed away his saber? Luke doesn't want to leave? Po is leading a mutiny? Snoke is dead? The shady lockpick turned on them? Well, maybe that last one wasn't so much of a surprise. This film was definitely not predictable, and that in itself was a delight.

But, beyond mere gyrations in story, the shots are amazing. Beautiful cinematography, wonderful new alien creatures (the shot of Chewie's dinner on a skewer was great), and the settings were great too. Out of the original cast, Hamill and Daniels did the best in capturing their characters' personas and this really gave Hamill a time to shine. 

Good stuff:

It's all good ... I even liked Mary Poppins Leia. Porgs Rule! Unlike a few other Star Wars movies, this one gets Threepio right.

2) Empire Strikes Back - Probably my favorite of the series, but if I'm being honest, it's not as good of a movie as the original. Then again, saying that is like arguing that owning 11 billion dollars is not as good as owning 11.01 billion dollars. 

It's interesting to me that so many fans adore this film for being darker. I don't think it's darker per se, but, as millions of other folks have pointed out, it is psychologically more complex and has more depth to its philosophy. I also like how the Falcon is almost as much of a character here as Han or Luke. 

On a lighter note, I always wondered what happened after Vader's dinner invitation. So, thanks to Robot Chicken for enlightening me on how that all went down. 

Good stuff:

Could the scene of the Falcon escaping from Hoth be any closer to perfection? Wow, that's an intense scene. Threepio is the best he's ever been here, but you could say that of the rest of the characters as well. 

1) Star Wars - Shocker, right? This is the 'Citizen Kane' of fandom, and no other franchise has topped it. Think of all the geek friendly movie series out there: Star Trek, Harry Potter, Toy Story, Marvel, etc. The only one that has come close is maybe Lord of the Rings. And even that fell short.

While I do believe that LoTR story is superior to 'Star Wars', my LoTR is the books, not the films. 

Several months ago, I showed a brief scene from the Death Star battle to a neighbor's kid who, until then, didn't know 'Star Wars' from Grover Cleveland. He was instantly transfixed. I can't think of another film before 'Star Wars' that could have this immediate of an effect on children, except maybe 'The Wizard of Oz'. This movie is to boys what cheesecake is to your palette: as rich and satisfying as you can possibly imagine. 

Good stuff:

I love Fisher's performance here. Her mannerisms are deliberately old-fashioned, like an actress from 1940s cinema. But honestly, there's not a bad shot in this film. It's as close to perfect as film can get.